guess what

seriously. i thought that im the only one in this. apparently everyone's in it but noone realises it. =/ oh well.. while most people believe that they have the most exciting lives, thinking they have the most interesting and happening friends around, doing possibly the coolest things there is on earth, i could be put in the same situation and find it to be quite disappointing.

i happened to place myself in the shoes of an outsider and had a look at my past 2 posts. i told myself- wow! this guy must be having fun! in reality, the whole event was really ordinary to me, not as fun as i had made it seem.

~

i walked across a basketball match the other day after classes and wondered 'why would these 10 players wanna play basketball when theres gonna be a loser team, and after the whole game all they gained was either a win or improved fitness. while they will lose time and energy. (yeah im startin to sound like a fat guy.) the people who watched the match was at a even greater loss. they had nothing to gain but a good time, which was really subjective.

if i could, then i would just not do anything cause everything's a waste of time and energy. but im a hypocrite. i still use the computer when people find it retarded, and i think that im making full use of my time but thats not exactly true either.

thats why im so unmotivated. and thats why nothing's interesting. but ive found a solution to my problem, and i hope its right.